Shattered
by brabbit1029
Summary: She was his savior. She was all he had. So where was she? Kaneki Ken woke up one day to find that his sister, Rize, had disappeared, leaving only with instructions to stay at a cafe called Anteiku. But as Kaneki searches for his sister while living at Anteiku, he discovers the truth about who he really is...but what about Rize? AU where Kaneki was born a one-eyed ghoul.
1. Missing

**Do not own Tokyo Ghoul! But the way both the anime and manga ended has me in tears, so I thought I'd drown my sorrows in fanfiction!**

* * *

><p><em>What was he supposed to be?<em>

_Was he a monster? Was he not like everyone else?_

_His mind was full of questions, full of the words that the people around him repeated over and over again._

_He wasn't normal. He was different. He was "special."_

_He spent his days curled up in the corner of a dark room, his long, disheveled hair covering his face, with silver chains jangling from the cuffs around his wrists and ankles._

_He always lived in the darkness. He belonged in the darkness. His world consisted of pain, darkness, blood, and the sinister, sadistic grin of the man who came in every day to run tests and "observe" him. _

_He was going to spend eternity in that cold, dark room._

_At least, that's what he always thought, until a gentle, soothing voice shattered the dark cage trapping him, bringing him a new kind of hope that he had never experienced._

_"Hello, there."_

_A faint light blinded his dull eyes, and he had to narrow them before lifting his head to find a beautiful girl with long lavender hair. Adorning her face was the kindest, brightest smile he had ever seen._

_"Would you like to escape from here?"_

_And with that, his chains were broken, and he was freed._

* * *

><p><em><strong>(Six Years later)<strong>_

A boy of average height stood in front of a quaint little cafe on the streets of Tokyo. The boy had dark hair and a white eyepatch that concealed his left eye. He wore a blue jacket and long dark pants. Well-aware of the attention that his eyepatch drew towards him, the boy pulled the hood of his jacket over his face bashfully. In one hand he held a suitcase, and in the other was a paper with directions.

"This is the place, I think." Kaneki Ken looked up at the cafe's sign with the words "Anteiku" on it.

_"So this is where I'll be living?" _Kaneki stared at the sign for a moment before taking a deep breath and entering the building.

The bell rang as he swung open the door. The cafe wasn't anything special, but there were plenty of customers, which made Kaneki uneasy, being the shy, introverted bookworm he was. He could immediately tell that many of the cafe's customers where ghouls, but there were humans as well. The mixed scent of ghouls and humans along with coffee was strange, but not unpleasant.

_"It's just like nee-san described it."_ Kaneki stared in awe, amazed that such a peaceful place where both humans and ghouls sat in the same room existed.

A young waitress, probably about Kaneki's age, with short purple hair and long bangs swept over the right side of her face approached him.

"Table for one?" The girl spoke quietly. Kaneki assumed she was the antisocial type, like him.

"U-Um-" Kaneki stammered. He had very little experience speaking to girls, besides his sister. Plus, the waitress standing before him was quite beautiful. Gender aside, he never interacted much with anyone. The thumping of his heart pounded in his ears just from the girl being a little too close to him.

_"If I remember correctly, nee-san told me that everyone working here is a ghoul...so this girl is a ghoul, too?"_

"N-No, I'm, uh.."

The girl waited for Kaneki to respond.

"Um, I'm looking for someone named Yoshimura-san..."

The girl's one visible eye widened, then narrowed in suspicion. "What do you need to talk to Manager for?"

_"Eek, this girl is scary."_ Kaneki gulped. He felt himself shrink under the girl's menacing glare. "U-um..."

"Are you Kaneki-kun?"

Kaneki turned rapidly to the person who had called out his name, startled. Standing behind the bar cleaning a glass cup with a white cloth was an old man with a gentle, yet wise, face.

"Um, hai."

"I see." The man set the cup down. "I am Yoshimura. Rize told me you were coming."

"Rize-san?!" The waitress seemed to recognize the name. "What connection does this guy have with her?"

"Apparently, he's her little brother, Touka-chan."

"Little brother?!" The waitress, Touka, exclaimed.

"I-I'm Kaneki Ken." Kaneki awkwardly bowed and introduced himself meekly.

"He's going to be staying here for a while." Yoshimura informed Touka.

"Hah? Why?"

"It seems that Rize has some business to attend to, so she'll be gone for a while."

"Then why can't he take care of himself?" Touka scoffed, glaring at Kaneki.

Kaneki frowned. _"Because if someone doesn't watch over me, I'll..." _

"There are certain reasons." Kaneki was thankful that Yoshimura seemed so understanding.

_"I wonder how much nee-san has told him about me."_

"And this is Kirishima Touka. She also works here, as you can see." Yoshimura introduced the waitress. She continued to glare at Kaneki, and he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to befriend her easily. "If you need anything, ask her, though we also have more employees that you'll meet later. For now, why don't you show Kaneki-kun to the empty room upstairs, Touka-chan?"

Touka simply grunted, clearly not wanting to, but headed for the stairs in the back. It took a few seconds for Kaneki to realize that she wanted him to follow. He scrambled to follow her, thinking that it would be hard for him to grow close to the intimidating waitress.

He heaved his suitcase up the stairs with ease, following Touka up to one of the doors in a long hallway on the second floor.

"Here." Touka gestured to a door.

"Th-thanks..." Kaneki mumbled.

Touka simply grunted again and left.

_"She really does scare me..."_ Kaneki let out a long sigh before entering the room. He set his things down and plopped down onto the black leather couch in front of the window.

_"The manager seems nice, but..."_ He leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling with his one visible eye. He then closed it, only to find the face of his precious elder sister imprinted in his mind.

_"I want to go home and be with nee-san."_

Unfortunately, he had no idea where she was.

He woken up a few days ago in the small apartment that he shared with his sister only to find that she was gone. Rize often left him for a while, doing who knows what, so he was used to her frequent absences, but this time she a note saying would be gone for a while and that he should live at Anteiku for the time being, without even telling him anything.

Despite her note, he had searched for her. He visited all her favorite places: the bookstore, the park, the darkest alleys that were best for feeding on humans. But she was nowhere to be found.

So here he was, at the ghoul cafe, Anteiku, despite his strong desire to see his beloved sister.

_"Now that_ _I think about it, I have to work here, don't I?" _Rize had mentioned in her note that he would have to start working as a waiter in order to pay for his stay. The thought of serving people mortified him, but it was the least he could do since Yoshimura was letting him stay at the cafe. Still, it was difficult to imagine himself serving actual _people_ with an actual _smile_ without tripping or running away in fear.

He opened a pouch in his backpack and produced a seemingly ordinary bottle of pills, dismissing his fears. He produced a few onto his palm and swallowed them whole with ease, as if he was used to taking the pills constantly

_"I haven't eaten in a while..."_ Kaneki noted as he swallowed the pills. _"I'll have to ask the manager for some food soon."_

Kaneki grimaced as he felt a familiar, unsettling hunger flicker within his stomach. The memory of juicy flesh tingling his taste buds made his mouth water. Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, as if attempting to shake away the hunger, but the pills would only do so much.

But, alas, he was a ghoul. And as a ghoul, he had no choice to survive on human meat. He would never forget the satisfying taste of meat as long as he lived with such a body. It was something in his life that he could never change.

For now, though, he decided to relax. He opened his suitcase, packed with stacks of books and a few clothes. He took out one of his favorites, The Black Goat's Egg, and began to read. He had already read the book multiple times, but a work of Takatsuki Sen was something that he could never read too many times.

The story revolved around a son and his mother, a serial killer called the Black Goat. It was one of Kaneki's favorite Takatsuki Sen books, and he practically knew every single word of the book by heart.

He had Rize to thank for his massive love of books, of course.

* * *

><p><strong><em>(Flashback)<em>**

_Young Kaneki had been staring at a tall bookshelf filled from top to bottom that took up a great part of the small apartment that he had started living in with Rize. _

_"Hm? Do you like books, Ken-chan?" A seventeen year old Rize noticed the young boy's interest in her collection._

_"Books?" Kaneki blinked, then pointed at the shelf. "Is that what these are?" _

_"Yup!" Rize nodded and knelt down besides the boy. She picked a book out of the shelf and held it up in front of her for Kaneki to see. "There are many different kinds! Some are full of information, some have pretty pictures, and some have really interesting stories!"_

_"Stories?"_

_"Mmhmm! Fantasy, non-fiction, romance, tragedy, all kinds!" Rize bubbled. Kaneki could tell then that his sister was an avid reader by the way her eyes shimmered behind her glasses. "Why don't you try reading one?"_

_"Um..." Kaneki's face fell, and he looked at the floor beneath his feet. "I can't read..."_

_"That's fine!" Rize placed a hand on Kaneki's head and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Nee-san will teach you! It'll be fun!"_

_"Really?!" Kaneki beamed._

_"Yup!"_

_"You're the best, nee-san! You teach me so many fun things!"_

_Kaneki felt something warm in his chest as the girl laughed. He smiled along with her._

* * *

><p>Rize had spent hours each day helping Kaneki learn how to read and write. He had been a fast learner, and soon he was zooming through all the books that filled his sister's home. He remembered his first visit to the bookstore, and how happy he'd been at the thousands of books all around him.<p>

The old memory made him smile, but it also made him miss his sister even more.

He shook his head and quickly immersed himself in his book in an attempt to ignore the sad pang in his chest, almost forgetting about his missing sister as he lost himself in Takatsuki Sen's words.

Before he knew it, it was evening. He was about to start another chapter in his book when the door opened.

"Oi." Touka entered the room.

"K-Kirishima-san?" Kaneki almost dropped his book in surprise.

"Manager says that you should come with me to buy some things." Touka informed him.

"O-okay."

Touka left before he could say anything else. Kaneki let out a long sigh and put his book down. He eyed the cover of the book for a moment, nostalgically remembering the time when Rize had first introduced him to Takatsuki Sen, and how his adoration for the author blossomed and grew since then.

He would have to live at the cafe for now, he concluded in his mind, but he swore that he would definitely reunite with his sister.

She was his savior, after all.


	2. One Eye

Kaneki Ken got on Touka's nerves.

He was practically a mess, stuttering almost every time he spoke(which was only a few times). He was also clumsy, proven when he had knocked over a stack of apples at the store, bruising most of them.

He was shy and easily frightened.

He reminded her of _him._

Besides Touka berating him, the two bought the stuff Yoshimura needed and headed back to Anteiku in silence.

Touka glanced over her shoulder to look at Kaneki, trailing behind her with his head bowed. His eyes rarely left the ground, something Touka noticed since he had first walked into Anteiku. He still had his hood up, his long bangs swaying over his eyes, and the eyepatch only made his appearance stranger.

_"This bastard's a weird one." _Touka sighed and spoke. "Oi."

Kaneki tensed as if someone had pricked him with a needle.

_"He's hard to deal with.."_ Touka scowled. She eyed the nervous boy and asked.

"Are you gonna start going to school here?"

"Eh?" Kaneki blinked. He fidgeted with his hands, his eyes glued to his fingers, as he spoke in a soft voice that Touka had to strain to hear. "U-um...i dunno..."

"Have you ever been to school?"

"A-a little, but I dropped out..."

"Dropped out?" Touka eyed the boy. He did seem somewhat out of it, but she saw him reading that complicated book earlier, so he was probably at least of average intelligence. There was probably some sort of reason, which wasn't surprising. He was a ghoul, an outsider of society, after all.

_"She probably thinks I'm stupid." _Kaneki cried on the inside, though Touka wasn't really thinking that at all.

"N-Nee-san taught me at home, though..."

_"Oh, yeah. I forgot this guy was Rize's brother." _Touka remembered the very reason why Kaneki was at Anteiku in the first place. To be honest, it was hard to believe that the frantic, wimpy one-eyed boy was the Binge Eater's brother. She had witnessed the frightening woman in action, and her little brother didn't seem to have that same greedy hunger. Though, as Touka had learned over the years, looks can be deceiving. Even that Rize seemed like a kind, beautiful young lady at first.

"You and Rize are siblings, but you have different last names?" Touka realized.

"W-we're half siblings..."

"Oh..."

The duo continued walking, Kaneki continuously messing with the zipper of his jacket in order to avoid any awkward silence.

_"Thia bastard..."_ Touka gritted her teeth as unwanted memories flooded her mind, and she was reminded of a boy who had a similar appearance to her with unruly hair that reached his shoulders. His voice rang inside her head, resonating withing her mind.

_"Stupid aneki."_

"Kyaaa!"

The two stopped in their tracks and turned their attention to the source of the shriek, a girl about their age in a dark alley to their right. The girl was being pinned to the wall by a sneering middle-aged man.

"You should've just come along with me quietly, girlie." The man growled and leaned closer. The girl squealed and struggled to free herself, but to no avail.

"Oi."

Standing at the mouth of the alley was a high school girl with one eye concealed by her hair.

"K-Kirishima-san?!" Kaneki exclaimed. Touka had started walking towards the humans before he could even think.

"Hah? Who the hell are you?" The middle-aged man seemed straightened up and glared at Touka menacingly, still gripping the other girl's wrists.

"I don't feel like telling my name to fucking trash like you." Touka spat nonchalantly.

_"Kirishima-san is really tough, huh..." _Kaneki would be extra careful not to get on her nerves from now on.

"What was that?!" The man, angered, momentarily forgot about the girl he was holding. She took this chance to push him away and escape, running straight past Touka and Kaneki without even thanking them.

"Tch!" The man scowled, realizing his blunder. "You bitch!" The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, shiny metal object.

_"A knife?!" _Kaneki realized.

"I'll have you play with me instead!" The man rushed forward, knife in hand.

"Ah~." Touka sighed. "Humans like you-"

The man continued running, unaware of the danger he was getting himself into. He was a few feet away from Touka, when all of a sudden, he stopped.

He stopped because Touka was already behind him, and a large gash suddenly appeared on his chest.

"Annoy me."

He cried out, blood spurting from his wound, before falling to the ground with a loud thud and a splat.

Kaneki, who was still standing at the alley's entrance, watched the scene warily with wide eyes.

_"She's really fast! Just like nee-san..."_

He remembered when he was younger, he had one time followed Rize at night, curious as to where she was going. She was on a date with a young human boy around her age. Rize had led him to an empty dark street, and, with a sweet smile concealing her malicious intentions, ate him. The crimson red scene of blood and guts splattering all over the street was permanently imprinted in Kaneki's mind, and the memory resurfaced as he watched Touka slay the human in one swift move.

"Hmph." Touka stood up straight. Her eyes were now black, and her pupils were red, the eyes of a ghoul. She made a face of disgust as she knelt down beside the corpse.

"I don't really prefer old men, but I've been feeling hungry lately, so..." She began ripping through the dead man's flesh, blood splurting from his body and staining her face and clothes. She was about to bring a hunk of flesh up to her mouth when she paused and looked up, as if having forgotten that Kaneki was there. "What? Want some?"

Kaneki flinched and looked away. "I-I'm good...not hungry..."

"Is that so?" Touka began munching on the human's guts. Kaneki gripped the bags in his hands tightly.

_"She killed him without any hesitation. Well, she is a ghoul after all, but..."_

Touka seemed to notice the look Kaneki was giving her and stopped eating again. "What is it?"

"Um..."

"Do you feel sorry for this guy?" Touka prodded the corpse. "You're a ghoul, aren't you?"

"Uh, it's j-just that...was there really any need to kill him...?"

"Hah?!" Touka stood suddenly, and Kaneki gulped. "What the hell is up with you?! If you're a ghoul, then you eat humans! That's just how things work!"

"S-sorry..."

_"What's up with this bastard?!" _Touka clenched her bloody fists. _"He pisses me off!"_

Kaneki stood awkwardly as Touka ripped through the body.

_"He's too much like Ayato..." _Touka confirmed with a small pain in her chest as she ate.

_"Touka, you're the older sister, so you have to teach Ayato all sorts of things!"_

_"Mmhmm!"_

Touka gnawed through the human's meat in an attempt to drown out the irritating voices of the past.

_"This old guy doesn't taste so good."_

But the boy with an eyepatch standing before her made that impossible.

_"Dammnit."_

* * *

><p>Touka left to go home as soon as she dropped off the things she'd bought at the cafe. Apparently, she lived alone in an apartment not too far away.<p>

Kaneki also met the other two employees who worked at Anteiku, Koma Enji and Irimi Kaya. They both seemed nice, though Koma was more on the talkative side while Irimi didn't say much. Kaneki ended up stuck listening to Koma's days as the "Devil Ape." Apparently, he was a much more wild ghoul in the past, something he made sure that Kaneki knew.

Luckily, he was saved by Yoshimura.

"Kaneki-kun, could you come with me for a bit?"

"H-hai!" Kaneki mentally thanked the manager for saving him from yet another tale of the Devil Ape.

He followed Yoshimura to an area in the back of the cafe**(i don't really know where it is)** with a secret entrance leading underground.

_"To think they have a place like this under the cafe." _Kaneki felt the air temperature drop as he followed Yoshimura to a large freezer. As Kaneki approached it, a familiar aroma filled his senses with pleasure.

_"Th-this is-!"_

"You're probably hungry, aren't you?" Yoshimura rummaged through the freezer.

"Um-" Kaneki's stomach answered for him instead with a loud growl. He blushed and held is stomach in embarassment.

"No need to be embarrassed." Yoshimura turned and held out a brown package towards Kaneki. "A ghoul's hunger is very torturous, after all."

_"Meat!" _Kaneki felt his mouth water, but he restrained himself as he slowly accepted the food.

"Th-thank you very much!" Kaneki bowed deeply. "You're taking care of me, a stranger, and you're even feeding me..."

"Don't worry about it, Kaneki-kun." Yoshimura smiled warmly. "You are one of my employees, now, so I will help you however I can. I promised Rize-chan, after all."

Kaneki perked at the name of his sister and warily asked. "Um, may I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"Um...do you know...where my sister might be...?"

Yoshimura paused for a moment, as if brooding over something, and shook his head. "I'm sorry. She didn't tell me much about where she was going."

"O-oh..." Kaneki's face fell.

"But..."

"Hm?"

"She did tell me quite a bit about you."

Kaneki flinched at this. He gripped the package in his hands and kept his head low.

"U-um, that's..."

"Don't worry, Kaneki-kun. I won't do anything." Yoshimura assured him.

Kaneki lifted his face and eyed the manager. _"He's...a good person...but he's still a stranger..."_

"I know you like your privacy when you eat, so why don't you head on upstairs?"

"H-Hai! Thank you again!" Kaneki quickly turned on his heel and dashed back upstairs to his room, unaware of Yoshimura's concentrated gaze following him until he was out of sight.

Kaneki made sure the door was closed shut behind him. A plate and fork were set on the table in his new room, most likely courtesy of Yoshimura. He sat down on the couch and eyed the package.

_"Where does he get all this meat, anyway?" _Kaneki wondered. _"Does he kill people? But nee-san told me he was a peaceful man..."_

The grumbling of his stomach scolded him for wasting any more time, and he quickly unwrapped the package and placed the juicy hunk of meat onto the plate. Red liquid seeped from the raw flesh as Kaneki reached up and began to untie the white string wrapped around his head. The eyepatch slowly fell off his face, and he placed it on the table.

Kaneki grabbed the fork on the table, broke off a piece of meat, and stuffed it into his mouth.

His taste buds tingled with pleasure as his hunger was finally satisfied.

_"Ah, it's really been a long time since I've eaten."_

Kaneki began to savor his meal, comfortable knowing he was alone.

Now he didn't have to worry about people questioning his eyes.

His bangs shifted as he licked some delicious red blood from his lips, revealing one black and red eye and one completely normal eye on the young half-ghoul's face.


	3. Siblings

"Idiot! How many times have you messed up already?!"

"I-I'm sorry..."

"You're so useless!"

Kaneki gripped the front of his new black and white Anteiku uniform as Touka yelled at him yet again for messing up at trying to brew yet another cup of coffee.

"You suck at this." Touka rubbed her forehead as if Kaneki were giving her a headache. "I've never seen one guy spill so much coffee before."

"Now, now, Touka-chan. Kaneki-kun is new at this, so don't be too harsh on him." Yoshimura popped up behind them.

"Tch." Touka clicked her tongue at Kaneki, who seemed awfully interested in his shoes. She turned on her heel and stomped away.

Kaneki sighed. He had been at Anteiku for about a week, but he still hadn't improved at his job at all. When he first tried serving a customer, he ended up tripping from anxiety and spilling coffee all over a customer. Luckily, the young woman had been understanding and had accepted Kaneki's multiple apologies. He had been glad that the woman was a human, not a ghoul who was capable of ripping him to shreds.

He continued to trip, struggled to speak loud and clearly when talking to customers, and failed to brew a decent cup of coffee.

_"I'm working here to thank manager for letting me be here, but I think I'm just making things worse." _Kaneki thought miserably.

"Don't worry, Kaneki-kun." Kaneki whirled around to find Irimi cleaning some dishes behind him. "I'm sure you'll get used to it."

"Th-thank you, Irimi-san." Kaneki mumbled and began to clean up the mess he had made.

"Say, Kaneki-kun. Why don't you go out for a bit?" Yoshimura suggested. "Maybe you just need a break."

Kaneki paused wiping the spilled coffee off the counter. "Um...go where?"

"I was going to ask Touka-chan to take you to Uta-kun." Touka was in the middle of cleaning some coffee cups when Yoshimura mentioned her name.

"What?! Why me?!"

"You have the rest of the day off, don't you?"

Touka made a face, as if the very thought bugged her. "Why do I have to spend my day off with him?!"

_"Yep...she's really warming up to me..." _Kaneki thought sarcastically.

"Um, who is Uta?" Kaneki asked.

"He's a mask maker." Yoshimura explained. "Kaneki-kun, you don't have your own mask, do you?"

"Um, no..." Kaneki had never gotten his own mask, since he rarely encountered any CCG investigators.

"I've heard rumors that the doves have been active around the 20th ward lately."

"The doves are here?!" Touka exclaimed.

Yoshimura nodded then eyed Kaneki. "I thought it would be safer if you had a mask of your own, just in case."

"I-I see..." Kaneki gulped. _"Me? Fight the investigators? I always had nee-san protect me from them before, but I guess now that's not going to work." _Still, the thought of fighting the doves was unsettling, since it was something Kaneki wasn't all that used to.

"Please take care of Kaneki-kun, Touka-chan."

"Che." Touka placed the last clean cup down onto the counter and stormed off.

_"I guess Kirishima-san really does hate me..."_ The waitress' attitude towards him hadn't changed at all since his first night at Anteiku. In fact, he felt like it had gotten worse.

"She doesn't hate you." Yoshimura spoke up as if having read Kaneki's mind, startling him. The old man's keen insight could be frightening, something Kaneki realized during his short stay at Anteiku.

"Believe it or not, Touka-chan is just shy." Yoshimura smiled gently. "Plus, I'm sure you sonewhat remind her of Ayato-kun."

"Ayato-kun?" Kaneki blinked at the unfamiliar name.

"Touka-chan's little brother." Yoshimura explained. "Their mother died when they were young, and their father raised them on thei own until he died as well. Afterwards, they came here."

"Oh..." Kaneki hadn't expected the bad-mouthed waitress to have a happy backstory. Then again, most ghouls didn't. "Wait, then where is he now?"

Kaneki wondered if he hit a sore spot when Yoshimura didn't reply. Could Ayato be...?

"He didn't really agree with the way things worked here and eventually left." Yoshimura seemed to be choosing his words carefully.

"Oh...sorry..."

Yoshimura chuckled slightly. "You did nothing wrong, Kaneki-kun. I just want you to understand that Touka-chan isn't all that bad. I'm sure you'll grow to like her eventually."

"I-I'll try..." Kaneki promised, though he had a feeling it wouldn't be too easy.

* * *

><p>"You're late." Touka scolded once Kaneki exited the cafe a few hours later, dressed in a white hoodie and jeans.<p>

"S-sorry..."

"Let's go."

Kaneki kept a few feet of distance between him and Touka as they walked side by side. He hastily snuck a glance to the girl by his side every now and then.

_"So, I remind her of her brother? It must be hard to be around me, then...I wonder where he is now..."_

Kaneki was lost in his thoughts until Touka snapped him out of them.

"You remind me of how he used to be."

"...huh?" It took Kaneki a moment to process what Touka had just said.

"Ayato." Touka replied curtly. "I heard manager telling you about him."

_"She heard us?"_

"Um..."

"Ayato used to be a wimp, like you." Touka interrupted him, her single eye daring him to continue. He clamped his mouth shut. "We lived alone with our father, and I would always have to take care of him. I was the older sister, after all."

Kaneki made sure to stay silent. It felt weird how Touka was telling him about herself. He assumed it was something she didn't do often, especially with someone she barely knew.

"Dad was killed by those shitty doves, and we ended up at Anteiku. But Ayato had no interest in living peacefully and started getting into random fights all over the place. Then one day, he just left."

_"Just like nee-san..."_ Kaneki suddenly realized that he and Touka actually had something in common. Both of their siblings had left them, and they knew little of their whereabouts.

"Who knows where that little brat is." Touka growled, then faced Kaneki. "It's the same with you and Rize, right?"

"Y-yeah..."

"You have no idea where she is either?"

"No..."

That whole week he had been at Anteiku felt like years. Rize was everything to him. And she had disappeared for no reason that he knew of.

Every day, he tried to think of why his sister left. Had she abandoned him?

_"I promise I'll always be with you, Ken-chan."_

She had promised. Rize was everything to him. She had saved him from the darkness that was his early childhood, and he would lay his life on the line for her. Kaneki wanted to see her more than anything.

And Touka probably felt the same way.

"Nee-san...is really important to me..." Kaneki gripped his hoodie in fear of Touka retaliating due to him saying something offensive. "And I'm sure your brother is the same to you...so, um...sorry..."

Touka's one visible eye widened slightly, then shrank back. "Idiot!"

Kaneki flinched, preparing himself for another scolding.

"Why are you apologizing?" Touka mumbled, sheepishly shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket and turning away slightly to hide the slight blush on her cheeks. "It's not your fault..."

Kaneki noticed this anyway, and it surprised him. He didn't think that the cold and harsh Touka could make such an expression. It was actually kind of cute...

Warmth crept up his face as Kaneki also blushed in embarrassment, and he pulled the hood of his hoodie down further awkwardly. He had almost forgotten that Touka was a young teenage girl.

"K-Kirishima-san-"

He was interrupted yet again. "Can you stop calling me that? It's weird, since we're around the same age."

"O-ok..." Kaneki scratched the side of his face with his forefinger. "T-Touka-san...?"

Touka paused for a moment, eyeing him with exasperation, then sighed in defeat.

"Whatever." Touka leaned her head back on her hands.

Kaneki smiled softly beneath his hood, glad that he had finally grown closer to Touka. It never occurred to him that they would have something in common.

His face slowly fell, though, as he realized one thing. There was probably something different about their situations, something that he avoided thinking about as much as possible.

* * *

><p><em>"I promise I'll always be with you, Ken-chan." <em>

_He was blinded by the red blood that surrounded him and stained his clothes and face. All he saw was red and a gorgeous, lavender-haired girl amid it all._

_"I'll always protect you."_

_The inside of his chest tightened, and he felt that he could hardly breathe. He was frozen in place, petrified by the mesmerizing eyes boring into his own. His sister's warm hand caressed his cheek, and he tensed. A silky giggle escaped from her glossy lips as she licked some blood from her mouth gleefully._

_"Because you are mine, and mine only~!"_


	4. Envy

Kaneki wasn't sure what to expect of the mask maker he was going to meet. He had never met one since he never needed a mask till now. According to Touka, Uta was an eccentric but kind person. He was a talented mask maker, though.

The shady Hysy shop amid the dark alleys of the 4th ward made Kaneki wary.

"Uta-san!" Touka called out as the two entered the shop. The room was dark and practically consisted of dozens of masks decorating the walls and ominous mannequins. They ranged from full-face masks to half-masks, masquerade masks and demon masks.

"Are you in here?" Touka searched around the shop for the mask maker. "Could he be sleeping?"

Kaneki noticed a large lump covered by a blanket on one of the pedestals in the room. Catching his attention, Kaneki approached it.

_"What's under here?" _Kaneki wondered before grabbing the blanket and pulling it down. He was met with a pair of glowing red eyes.

"Boo."

"W-WAHHHHHH!" Kaneki exclaimed in surprise and stumbled, tripping over his feet. Touka whirled around at the noise then sighed. She put on a smile as if she were used to such a thing. "What are you doing, Uta-san?"

Kaneki assumed that the person curled up on the pedestal with piercings and various tattoos on his body was Uta.

"I thought I'd surprise you." Uta replied in a calm yet playful tone.

Touka held up her hand in introduction. "This is Uta-san, who will be making your mask."

"H-Hello…" Kaneki mumbled, still recovering from his shock. Uta stood abruptly and began sniffing Kaneki, causing him to yelp out in fright. "You smell...unusual."

Kaneki gulped. The tattooed man smelling him intently made him feel uncomfortable. He let out a sigh of relief once Uta backed away from him.

"Sit over there. I'll take your measurements."

Kaneki did as he was told while Uta began scribbling in a sketchbook as he asked a rapid string of questions.

"Do you have any allergies?"

"Um, no-"

"What about rubber or metals?"

"They're fine-"

"You want this full-face?"

"Um-"

Uta leaned forward to observe the young ghoul. "It's your first one: maybe a half-mask, instead."

"O-Oh…" Kaneki sweatdropped. The man didn't even wait for him to finish replying as he continued to the next question.

"The eyepatch is cute. Do you like them?"

"I-I guess so…" Kaneki lied. He didn't feel like telling Uta the real reason why he needed to conceal his left eye.

"Hm…" Uta then held out a slick, slimy ball that Kaneki soon realized was an eye. "Want a snack?"

"I-I'm good…"

Uta shrugged and stood straight.

"Kaneki-kun, I hear you're Rize-san's brother?" Uta licked the eyeball in his hand.

"Um, yes…"

"What do you think of her?"

Kaneki watched the mask maker enjoy his eyeball. Was he also acquainted with his sister? It seemed that Rize had been associated with many people that Kaneki didn't know about. She didn't talk to him much about her life outside, after all.

"Since she's my only family, and I really like her…"

"What about your parents?" Asked Uta. Kaneki's face fell, and he glanced to the side awkwardly. "I don't have any…"

"Oh…" Uta replied impassively. "Kaneki-kun, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Huh?" The answer to that question was an obvious no. "No, I don't...um, do these questions have to do with anything?"

"They do." Uta placed his sketchbook down and began to take up some measuring tools. "I feel more motivated if I get to know you better."

"_This guy really is strange…"_ Kaneki confirmed Touka's previous statement.

"What about Touka-san?" Uta eyed the female ghoul trying on masks in the corner of the room.

"Eh?" Kaneki spoke in a soft voice so that Touka would not hear. "She's kind of scary…"

"Scary?" Uta gently placed his hands on the sides of Kaneki's head and turned him so that he faced straight. He wrapped a long strip of white measuring tape around his head. "You think so? I find her to be a hard worker."

"A hard worker…?"

"For us to blend into human society, we need to have a mask that we never take off. If we're suspected for even a moment, we're done for, so we have to conduct ourselves seamlessly enough so that we don't become too involved."

Kaneki could barely see Touka out of the corner of his eye as Uta continued taking his measurements. "She lives her life accepting that risk….her work at Anteiku...and even going to school…"

It was only then that Kaneki realized what an amazing person Kirishima Touka truly was. Unlike him, she fought to live amongst humans peacefully, something he never really thought about because he often stayed home with Rize.

"What reason could she have for being so involved with people?" He wondered out loud.

"That's a good question. But, when I get the occasional human customer, right here," Uta reached up and touched one of the tattoos on his neck. "my pulse races. It's hard to explain, but it's enjoyable."

Kaneki's eyes widened at this. Enjoyable? He wouldn't know...He had even tried to attain that so-called joy that Touka had, but…

"_I think I'm jealous of her."_ Kaneki watched Touka sadly.

"Kaneki-kun, why don't you try going to school like Touka-san?" Uta suggested, as if he had read Kaneki's expression.

"Eh?" Kaneki blinked, then shook his head. "N-No, I can't…"

"Why not?"

"There are...reasons…"

"I see…" Uta tapped his chin thoughtfully. "But, Kaneki-kun?"

"Eh?"

If you really want to, then you should just go for it."

Kaneki grimaced at this and gritted his teeth. Of course, there were times in the past when he wanted more that just Rize as a companion. He wanted a friend, ghoul or human, but Rize insisted on him staying home. He would spend his days reading and gazing out the window, wanting to venture into the outside world, which he only did occasionally, but with Rize, and not far from their apartment.

After much pleading, Kaneki finally convinced Rize to let him attend school. It had been the happiest day of his life, though he was also extremely nervous. He made a few friends and got a taste of what humans were like.

But then, disaster struck. And he swore to listen to his sister and stay home.

He couldn't go to school. He couldn't be so close to humans so often. He couldn't befriend them.

Because he would eventually eat them.


	5. Humans

It was a few days later when Fueguchi Ryouko and her daughter Hinami came to Anteiku.

The ghoul mother and daughter had come to receive some food from Yoshimura. Aparently, the two couldn't hunt for themselves.

They seemed like nice people, though Hinami was extremely shy, reminding Kaneki of himself. But after discovering their common interest in book, Hinami warmed up to him, and Kaneki promised to teach the girl different words that she couldn't understand as Rize had done with him.

One day, while reading together during Kaneki's break, Yoshimura came in and suggested that the two go to the public library.

"Library?!" Hinami exclaimed, eyes sparkling at the thought of such a massive amount to books. Hinami faced Kaneki with a bright, hopeful expression. "Can we go, onii-chan?"

"Eh? U-um..." As much as Kaneki loved the library, going to a place with so many people was unsettling.

"We can't...?" Hinami's smile faded in disappointment.

But he couldn't let Hinami down. "N-No! Let's go to the library, Hinami-chan!"

"Really?!" The young ghoul beamed. "Yay! Thank you, onii-chan!"

Kaneki laughed nervousl, but on the inside he was worried out of his mind. He hadn't wandered the streets of the 20th ward without Touka ever since he arrived. Would he be able to properly protect Hinami?

Yoshimura smiled assuringly as Hinami got ready to leave. "You'll be fine, Kaneki-kun. Make sure to take good care of Hinami-chan."

"H-hai..." Kaneki promised uncertainly, then smiled at Hinami.

At the very least, he'd do his best to keep Hinami safe.

* * *

><p>"So many books!" Hinami beamed once she and Kaneki steppedinto the library. "Can I look around, onii-chan?"<p>

"Sure." Kaneki smiled. He followed Hinami around for as she browsed through the many shelves of the library. They even found some Takatsuki Sen works. After gathering a large pile of books, the two sat against the shelves and read until they lost track of time.

"Onii-chan, I need to use the restroom." Hinami announced and placed her book down. "I'l be right back."

"Ok." As Hinami left, Kaneki gathered their books and brought them to a nearby table to continue reading when a familiar voice called out to him.

"Kaneki?"

Kaneki almost dropped his books. He searched for the source of the voice and spotted his fellow co-worker sitting at a table with a few humans not too far away.

"Touka-san?" Kaneki blinked. He flinched at the sight of her human friends as he slowly approached the table.

"What are you doing here?" Touka asked. She was in her school uniform, similar to the other humans sitting with her. They had open books and notes sprawled across the table and pencils in hand.

"M-manager told me to take Hinam-chan to the library, so..." Kaneki frowned as he realized that the manager probably knew that Touka would be here.

Touka looked around. "Hinami's here?"

"Yeah, she's in the bathroom."

"Oh."

"Hey, Touka-chan?" The girl sitting next to Touka with short blonde hair whispered excitedly. "Who's this?"

"Your boyfriend?" The boy sitting across from them chuckled playfully. Kaneki blushed furiously at this and hid behind his stack of books as Touka protested. "Hah?! You're wrong, Yoriko! Who'd want to date a wimp like this?!l

"_Hurtful..."_ Kaneki winced.

"He just works with me at the cafe." Touka huffed.

"Oh, Anteiku?" The boy turned Kaneki, causing him to freeze. "I'm Nagachika Hideyoshi, but you can just call me Hide."

"And I'm Kosaka Yoriko." The girl smiled warmly.

Kaneki fought the urge to run away. He didn't want to talk to them. But he caught Touka's eyes boring into his and stammered in a voice that they had to strain to hear. "I-I'm Kaneki Ken...nice to meet you..."

"Kaneki, huh? Nice to meet ya!" Hide grinned.

Kaneki gritted his teeth and looked away. "Y-yeah..."

"Onii-chan!" Hinami ran towards the table. She then noticed Touka. "Onee-chan?!"

"Hey, Hinami." Touka smiled.

"Why are you here, onee-chan?"

"Studying."

"Oh..." Hinami eyed Hide and Yorik warily and reached for Kaneki's hand. He squeezed it gently. "These are Touka-san's friends, Hinami-chan."

"Hi there." Yoriko waved.

"H-hello..." Hinami mumbled and hid behind Kaneki.

"Kaneki, do you not go to the same school as us?" Hide asked. "You seem to be around our age."

"He just moved here." Touka stepped in. "He'll probably just stay at Anteiku working."

"Lucky!" Hide leaned back in his chair. "You don't have to stress over exams! That's the life!""It wouldn't be so hard if you were smarter, Hide." Touka scoffed.

"Hey!"

"Oh, yeah, Hinami-chan." Touka ignored the offended Hide. "Do you want me to check those books out for you? Kaneki probably doesn't have a library card."

"Ok!" Touka stood and took Hinami by the hand. "We'll be back." And with that, they left.

Leaving Kaneki all alone with Hide and Yoriko.

"_Kill me now, please." _Kaneki prayed to no one in particular.

"Kaneki-kun, what do you think of Touka-chan?" Yoriko's voice brought him back to reality.

Kaneki thought for a moment. What did he think of Touka? He recalled his conversation with Uta at Hysy. He liked Touka, but at the same time he was afraid of her. And she had things that he didn't, arousing some envy within him that he'd rather not have.

"She's nice." Was all Kaneki said.

"She is." Yoriko giggled. "Though she seems a little mean at first."

"_You can say that again."_

"But I really like Touka-chan." Yoriko confirmed.

"Oh..." Kaneki didn't expect the cold, bad-mouthed Touka to have such close friends.

"We're done." Touka returned with Hinami happily clutching her books. "Let's go."

"You're done here?" Asked Kaneki.

"Yeah, I was about to leave anyway." Touka gathered her things and stuffed them all inside her bag. "See you guys later."

"Kay. Bye, Kaneki! See you later!"

"Y-yeah..." Later? Why did thi human talk as if they were going to see each other again?

He followed Touka out the library, lost in thought. Touka noticed this and poked him.

"Oi. What's up with you?"

"Hm?" Kaneki put on a fake but obvious smile. "N-nothing."

"Hm..." Touka could see right througH him. "Do you like Hide and Yoriko?"

"They seemed nice..." Kaneki replied hesitantly.

"They're very important to me." Touka admitted. "They're my first real friends."

For a single moment, a dark, vicious look passed over Kaneki's face, seemingly unnoticed by Touka. His eyes glared blankly at the back of the female ghoul's head.

"_Even_ _though_ _they're_ _humans?_ _Even_ _though_ _you're_ _supposed_ _to eat them?" _Kaneki had a feeling Touka would punch him for saying such things, so he kept quiet.

"That must be nice." Was his reply. His dark expression faded and he smiled. "Touka-san is amazing. They seem to really care about you." Touka whirled around abruptly, startling him.

"Wh-what?" Did he say something wrong? Was she going to punch him?

"Are you just too scared to be around humans or something?"

"Um..."

"Pathetic." Touka shook her head. "To live in this world, we ghouls need to learn to blend into human society. Even Hinami will eventually do so."

"I will?" Hinami, a few feet in front of them, asked.

"Yup." Touka ruffled her hand through the girl's hair affectionately. "I'll help you."

Kaneki thought about what Touka said. She was absolutely right. To some extent, it was necessary for ghouls to adapt to humans' lifestyles, otherwise they would eventually be discovered and reported. Kaneki didn't have to worry about that before, but now he didn't have the protection of his sister. He was on his own.

"_Why_ _did you leave me, nee-san?" _

He was so deep into his thoughts that he almost didn't notice the bloody scent in the air. Hinami, having a keen sense of smell even for a ghoul, was the first to speak up.

"I smell blood." Hinami scrunched up her nose and grabbed the sleeve of Touka's uniform. They heard a loud thud and a cry of pain in the distance, along with a squelching noise.

"It's probably Nishiki." Scowled Touka. "That bastard."

"Who?"

"He's a ghoul who goes to the same school as me, a year bastard just loves going around claiming the whole ward as his territory, but he's just an idiot.

"Who's an idiot, you bitch?"

All of a sudden, a tall boy with copper hair and glasses appeared behind them, blood splattered all over his clothes. Kaneki assumed this was Nishiki. Hinami yelped and hid behind Touka.

"Nishiki." Touka spat.

"If I really tried, I'd be able to beat even that old man Yoshimura." Nishiki claimed arrogantly. He smirked, then eyed Kaneki and leaned forward. "Who's this guy? He smells weird."

Kaneki swallowed the lump forming in his throat. Nishiki obviously wasn't a friendly person, making Kaneki feel on edge.

"Kaneki." Touka introduced curtly.

"Kaneki?" Kaneki didn't like how his name rolled of the older teen's tongue, testing it like how one would taste test a tempting snack. "Nice to meet you."

"Y-you too..."

"Are you going around causing trouble again?" Touka crossed her arms over her chest, her one eye glaring menacingly. You're gonna get caught."

"I'll be fine." Nishiki assured confidently."Says the guy walking in broad daylight covered in blood..." Touka mumbled.

"Hmph!" Nishiki scowled then turned on his heel. "Whatever."

He held up a hand in a good bye and glanced at Kaneki. "See ya! Maybe we'll meet each other again."

Kaneki didn't like the sound of watched for a few seconds as Nishiki left. Once he was gone, Touka turned to Kaneki.

"Don't get involved with that guy." Touka warned firmly. "He's actually pretty strong, so watch out."

"I-I will..." Kaneki promised.

Kaneki looked back to where Nishiki had left, an unsettling fewling in his chest.

"_Maybe we'll meet each_ _other_ _again."_

He hoped not.

Unfortunately, fate just had a way of messing with him.


End file.
